Witty funny sayings

Nonsense is so good only because common sense is so limited.

2008-11-17T08:20:00.002-08:00

Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
~Author : Earl Mac Rauch Wise Quotes

No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.
~Author : Scott Adams Motivational Sayings

Nonsense is so good only because common sense is so limited.
~Author : George Santayana Famous Quotes

Having a holiday weekend without a family member felt like putting on a sweater that had an extra arm.
~Author : Pamela Ribon Inspirational Sayings

Just as the soul fills the body, so God fills the world. Just as the soul bears the body, so God endures the world. Just as the soul sees but is not seen, so God sees but is not seen.
~Author : The Talmud Nice Quotes

Many people would sooner die than think In fact, they do so.
~Author : Bertrand Russell Great Sayings

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

2008-11-17T08:20:00.001-08:00

Don?t go chasin? waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you?re used to.
~Author : TLC Waterfalls Meaningful Sayings

...Two and two are four. Sometimes, Winston. Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes they are all of them at once. You must try harder. It is not easy to become sane.
~Author : George Orwell Wise Quotes

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
~Author : William Shakespeare Hamlet Act 3 scene 2 Motivational Sayings

What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.
~Author : Raymond Claud Ferdinan Aron Famous Quotes

It is slavery to live in the mind unless it has become part of the body.
~Author : Kahlil Gibran Inspirational Sayings

Playing seems to be both disinterested and passionate at the same time disinterested in that it is not for real, and passionate in the absorption it requires.
~Author : Oliver Bevan Nice Quotes

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

2008-11-17T08:19:00.000-08:00

You live, you learn You love, you learn You cry, you learn You lose, you learn You bleed, you learn You scream, you learn
~Author : Alanis Morissette Famous Quotes

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
~Author : Jeff Marder Inspirational Sayings

War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory.
~Author : Georges Clemenceau Nice Quotes

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
~Author : Arthur Miller Great Sayings

Grow into your ideals so that life cannot rob you of them.
~Author : Albert Schweitzer Meaningful Sayings

Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.
~Author : Edward R Murrow Wise Quotes

Danish proverb Wise Quotes

2008-10-19T02:35:00.003-07:00

I have always said that if I were a rich man I would employ a profesional praiser.
~Author : Osbert Sitwell Meaningful Sayings

How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.
~Author : Danish proverb Wise Quotes

I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
~Author : Jean Louis Rodolphe Agassiz Motivational Sayings

I detest that man who hides one thing in the depths of his heart, and speaks for another.
~Author : Homer Famous Quotes

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.
~Author : Penn Jillette in a Compuserve chat Inspirational Sayings

We are each responsible for our own life - no other person is or even can be.
~Author : Oprah Winfrey Nice Quotes

There are people who make things happen,
those who watch what happens,
and those who wonder what happened.
~Author : Unknown Great Sayings

P T Forsyth Great Sayings

2008-10-19T02:35:00.001-07:00

You must live with people to know their problems, and live with God in order to solve them.
~Author : P T Forsyth Great Sayings

Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.
~Author : E B White Some Remarks on Humor introduction Meaningful Sayings

I demand more of myself than anyone else could ever expect.
~Author : Julius Irving Wise Quotes

If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat.
~Author : Proverbs Bible Motivational Sayings

War like any other racket, pays high dividends to the very few. The cost of operations is always transferred to the people who do not profit.
~Author : General Smedley Butler Famous Quotes

The purpose of a liberal arts education is to learn that a person can like both cats *and* dogs!
~Author : Sonjay Anand Inspirational Sayings

He who is of calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition youth and age are equally a burden.
~Author : Plato Nice Quotes

Samuel Johnson Famous Quotes

2008-10-19T02:34:00.000-07:00

It is better to live rich than to die rich.
~Author : Samuel Johnson Famous Quotes

We must have infinite faith in each other. If we have not, we must never let it leak out that we have not.
~Author : Henry David Thoreau Inspirational Sayings

If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
~Author : Jimmy Buffett Nice Quotes

Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived.
~Author : Jonathan Swift Great Sayings

A councilor ought not to sleep the whole night through, a man to whom the populace is entrusted, and who has many responsibilities.
~Author : Homer The Iliad Meaningful Sayings

Woe be to him that reads but one book.
~Author : George Herbert Wise Quotes

Work 'em hard, play 'em hard, feed 'em up to the nines and send 'em to bed so tired that they are asleep before their heads are on the pillow.
~Author : Frank L Boyden Motivational Sayings

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
~Author : Josh Billings Famous Quotes

The language of friendship is not words, but meanings.

2008-10-08T08:01:00.001-07:00

You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
~Author : American Proverb Wise Quotes

One difference between French appeasement and American appeasement is that France pays ransom in cash and gets its hostages back while the United States pays ransom in arms and gets additional hostages taken.
~Author : William Safire Motivational Sayings

The language of friendship is not words, but meanings. It is an intelligence about language.
~Author : Henry David Thoreau Famous Quotes

Ricky Max, ah, one more thing, ah ... who am I dropping this off to Who gets their hands on this Max That's your per diem. Ricky Yeah, that's my per diem, and who do I give it to Who do I drop it off to
~Author : Made Inspirational Sayings

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.
~Author : Victor Hugo Nice Quotes

When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
~Author : African proverb Great Sayings

Slander is a vice that strikes a double blow; wounding both him that commits, and him against whom it is committed.
~Author : Bernard Joseph Saurin Meaningful Sayings

Every man has seen the wall that limits his mind.
~Author : Alfred Victor Vigny Wise Quotes

Self-love is not opposed to the love of other people.

2008-10-08T08:00:00.003-07:00

Pity is the virtue of the law, and none but tyrants use it cruelly.
~Author : William Shakespeare Great Sayings

Self-love is not opposed to the love of other people. You cannot really love yourself and do yourself a favor without doing people a favor, and vise versa.
~Author : Dr Karl A Menninger Meaningful Sayings

Leaders get out in front and stay there by raising the standards by which they judge themselves - and by which they are willing to be judged.
~Author : Frederick Smith Wise Quotes

Divine right went out with the American Revolution and doesn't belong to the White House aides. What meat do they eat that makes them grow so great
~Author : Sam James Ervin Jr Motivational Sayings

The freedom of poetic license.
~Author : Cicero Famous Quotes

If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
~Author : Mother Theresa Inspirational Sayings

When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.
~Author : Milan Kundera Nice Quotes

The first condition of immortality is death.
~Author : Stanislaw Lec Great Sayings

People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish

2008-10-08T08:00:00.001-07:00

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
~Author : Woody Allen Famous Quotes

People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.
~Author : Jack Handey Deep Thoughts Inspirational Sayings

Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way...you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.
~Author : Aristotle Nice Quotes

The scientist is not a person who gives the right answers, he's one who asks the right questions.
~Author : Claude LeviStrauss Great Sayings

He saw that it was an ironical thing for him to be running thus toward that which he had been at such pains to avoid. But he said, in substance, to himself that if the earth and the moon were about to clash, many people would doubtless plan to get upon the roofs to witness the collision.
~Author : Stephen Crane The Red Badge of Courage chapter 8 Meaningful Sayings

Be not ashamed of thy virtues honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
~Author : Ben Jonson Wise Quotes

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
~Author : Nancy Astor Motivational Sayings

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
~Author : Niels Bohr Famous Quotes

Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.

2008-10-02T06:28:00.004-07:00

A boy is a magical creature you can lock him out of your workshop, but you can't lock him out of your heart. You can get him out of your study, but you can't get him out of your mind. Might as well give up he is your captor, your jailer, your boss and your master a freckled-faced, pint-sized, cat-chasing bundle of noise. But when you come home at night with only the shattered pieces of your hopes and dreams, he can mend them like new with two magic words Hi, Dad
~Author : Alan Marshall Beck Famous Quotes

Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.
~Author : Roger Lewin Inspirational Sayings

...obstacles do not exist to be surrendered to, but only to be broken.
~Author : Adolf Hitler Mein Kampf Nice Quotes

And once again Mr. Sherlock Holmes is free to devote his life to examining those interesting little problems which the complexity of human life so pletifuly presents.
~Author : Sir Arther Connan Doyle Sherlock Holmes Great Sayings

The experience to be gathered from books, Though often valuable, is but of the nature of learning Whereas the experience gained from actual life, Is of the nature of wisdom And a small store of the latter Is worth vastly more than a stock of the former.
~Author : Samuel Smiles Meaningful Sayings

Use what you have to run toward your best - that's how I now live my life.
~Author : Oprah Winfrey Wise Quotes

Live with wolves, and you learn to howl.
~Author : Danish proverb Motivational Sayings

Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find it out.
~Author : Frank A Clark Famous Quotes

Can anybody remember when the times were not hard and money not scarce

2008-10-02T06:28:00.003-07:00

Homo sum humani nil a me alienum puto.(I am a man I hold that nothing human is alien to me.)
~Author : Terence Famous Quotes

Can anybody remember when the times were not hard and money not scarce
~Author : Ralph Waldo Emerson Inspirational Sayings

There is no procedure for learning to write. What you must do, is learn to think.
~Author : S Leonard Rubenstein Pennsylvania State University Chairman of the English Department classroom lecture 1980 Nice Quotes

Resentment is anger directed at others--at what they did or did not do.
~Author : Peter McWilliams Life 101 Great Sayings

A sobering thought what if, at this very moment, I am
~Author : Jane Wagner Meaningful Sayings

A laugh is a smile that bursts.
~Author : Mary H Waldrip Wise Quotes

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.
~Author : Jorge Luis Borges Motivational Sayings

Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.

2008-10-02T06:28:00.001-07:00

I've lived to bury my desires, And see my dreams corrode with rust Now all that's left are fruitless fires That burn my empty heart to dust.
~Author : Alekandr Sergeyevick Pushkin Famous Quotes

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.
~Author : Ralph Waldo Emerson Inspirational Sayings

Knowing where to lead people is not the same as convincing them to follow you.
~Author : Douglas H Everett Nice Quotes

Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.
~Author : T S Eliot Great Sayings

A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits.
~Author : Woodrow Wilson Meaningful Sayings

Perseverance is not a long race it is many short races one after another.
~Author : Walter Elliott Wise Quotes

A man is like a fraction whose numerator is what he is and whose denominator is what he thinks of himself. The larger the denominator the smaller the fraction.
~Author : Leo Tolstoy Motivational Sayings

To be closer to God, be closer to people.

2008-09-30T08:05:00.007-07:00

Well begun is half done.
~Author : Aristotle Wise Quotes

We have perhaps a natural fear of ends. We would rather be always on the way than arrive. Given the means, we hang on to them and often forget the ends.
~Author : Eric Hoffer Motivational Sayings

My son, observe the postage stamp! Its usefulness depends upon its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there.
~Author : Josh Billings Famous Quotes

Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.
~Author : James Allen Inspirational Sayings

Choose in marriage only a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man.
~Author : Jeseph Joubert Nice Quotes

We must come to see that peace is not merely a distant goal we seek, but it is a means by which we arrive at that goal. We must pursue peaceful ends through peaceful means.
~Author : Martin Luther King Jr Great Sayings

To be closer to God, be closer to people.
~Author : Kahlil Gibran Meaningful Sayings

Parents can only advise their children or point them in the right direction. Ultimately people shape their own characters.
~Author : Anne Frank The Diary of a Young Girl Wise Quotes

A truth that's told with bad intent, Beats all the lies you can invent.
~Author : William Blake Motivational Sayings

I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible.
~Author : Oscar Wilde The Picture of Dorian Gray 1891 Famous Quotes

Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
~Author : Mark Twain Inspirational Sayings

Paul's evangelistic mission was different from the Kingdom Apostles, but in many ways the same. The Kingdom Apostles preached Jesus the Messiah, ready to return to Israel and set up His Messianic Kingdom. From Israel, the Apostles, with Christ on David's Throne, were to go into all the world and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to observe everything Christ had commanded them. They would do that because all authority in heaven and on earth had been given to Christ. As we all know, that did not happen. It will happen in the future, but it has not yet happened. What has happened is that Christ revealed a Mystery through His Special Apostle Paul.
~Author : Mark McGee Nice Quotes

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died.

2008-09-30T08:05:00.005-07:00

At any given point of time, you are exactly what you wanted to be.
~Author : Vinny Nayak Famous Quotes

We are the people our parents warned us about.
~Author : Jimmy Buffett Inspirational Sayings

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died.
~Author : Peter Ustinov Nice Quotes

Every man has two countries his own and France.
~Author : Thomas Jefferson Great Sayings

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
~Author : J K Rowling Meaningful Sayings

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
~Author : Philander Johnson Wise Quotes

It is a mistake to suppose that men succeed through success they much oftener succeed through failures. Precept, study, advice, and example could never have taught them so well as failure has done.
~Author : Samuel Smiles Motivational Sayings

What is hardest to accept about the passage of time is that the people who once mattered the most to us are wrapped up in parentheses.
~Author : John Irving The Cider House Rules 1985 Famous Quotes

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
~Author : Woody Allen Inspirational Sayings

Be careful out there. There are things that go bump in the night. Actually, there are things that go 'Give me your wallet or I'll kill you' in the night.
~Author : John Larroquette Nice Quotes

Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Beauty.
~Author : Unknown Great Sayings

The people of the South have rejected the constitutional amendment, and therefore we will march upon them and force them to adopt it at the point of the bayonet, and establish military power over them until they do adopt it.
~Author : John Whitehead Meaningful Sayings

Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.

2008-09-30T08:05:00.003-07:00

A genius is just a talented person who does his homework.
~Author : Thomas A Edison Nice Quotes

Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.
~Author : Buddha Great Sayings

We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them.
~Author : Titus Livius Meaningful Sayings

Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err. It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able, can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious right.
~Author : Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi Wise Quotes

It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny.
~Author : Jean Nidetch Motivational Sayings

In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.
~Author : Dwight D Eisenhower Famous Quotes

Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
~Author : Rita Rudner Inspirational Sayings

The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.
~Author : Friedrich Nietzsche Ecce Homo Foreword Nice Quotes

Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.
~Author : Napoleon Great Sayings

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

2008-09-30T08:05:00.001-07:00

Learn to say no to the good so you can say yes to the best.
~Author : John C Maxwell Inspirational Sayings

The Universe may be as great as they say. But it wouldn't be missed if it didn't exist.
~Author : Piet Hein Nice Quotes

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
~Author : Mark Twain Great Sayings

The medium is the message.
~Author : Marshall McLuhan Meaningful Sayings

Life is an escalator You can move forward or backward you can not remain still.
~Author : Patricia RussellMcCloud Wise Quotes

You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.
~Author : Rosalynn Carter Wife of jimmy Carter 39th president Motivational Sayings

Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be.
~Author : Anton Chekhov Famous Quotes

Opinion is ultimately determined by the feelings, and not by the intellect.
~Author : Herbert Spencer Inspirational Sayings

Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.

2008-09-30T08:04:00.001-07:00

If I die a violent death, as some fear and a few are plotting, I know that the violence will be in the thought and the action of the assassins, not in my dying. (Handwritten statement found in her residence)
~Author : Indira Nehru Gandhi Famous Quotes

Truth is generally kindness, but where the two diverge and collide, kindness should override truth.
~Author : Samuel Butler Inspirational Sayings

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
~Author : Dale Carnegie Nice Quotes

To a resolute mind, wishing to do is the first step toward doing. But if we do not wish to do a thing it becomes impossible.
~Author : South Great Sayings

Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
~Author : George Bernard Shaw Meaningful Sayings

A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on.
~Author : William S Burroughs Wise Quotes

If you don't control your mind, someone else will.
~Author : John Allston Motivational Sayings

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
~Author : Oscar Fingall O'Flahertie Wills Wilde Famous Quotes